For Want of a Nail
by Eophan
Summary: A chat between a young master and servant goes very differently than expected.


My cruel young Master, if only you knew.

Purity has been lost to me so long ago, and it excited me beyond reason to see that my new master's blood that I lapped from the dusty stone poured from such youthful veins.

I've taken small concubines before, centuries ago when the bridge between the adult world and the child world had not yet been burned. It was a time when it was perfectly acceptable to languorously trail with the dirty eyes of a monster the frail as they jerked, twirled, and fell about in their fine crimson and gold silks and slips. My ululations went unhindered. My master is an anachronism, born in the wrong age entirely. For parades of lithe bodies, dashing princes and swooning princesses alike, fade away in a blur in comparison to the horrible ache of unrequited lust I feel for this new honey and ice.

The fear she showed when my blackened and dry corpse lashed and fed upon her deranged pursuers was the only glimpse of the emotion I have ever seen in her eyes. I used to purr and soothe those colorful pets of mine, knowing fully their distaste for my embrace, but _she _would not shy away from me so. _She _would know what she wants, and take it from me, and I would be her submissive, pathetic, and ultimately happy servant. What good is the all the powers of Hell and beyond, if there is no lock to keep me in check? The world, dull as it is in comparison to her shine, would be ashen, and still my blood-lust would not be sated, for I am a demon as well as a deviant. I would be hopelessly alone in this world, and she would be dead. She is the only worthy opponent.

Our bond is the only thing holding this world intact, and it is the only thing we shall ever share, my Master.

Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing. Such a lovely rose of a name that rolls off the palate so seamlessly, ending in the title of the man who tamed me. And she, and her legacy, are mine, mine, mine.

I watched her from afar most of the time, a dutiful servant first, a doting father when need be - for who else had she to turn to? - and sickening pervert only in my coffin. While initially anyone would be attracted to the harsh beauty, the cold eyes, and the sharp features of my master, it was her demeanor that turned this creature of blood and pain into a dutiful, pining lapdog. My Integra adapted to the business life of her organization with the shrewdness and meticulousness that had been in her predecessors, but her iron will and fist, developing so quickly even at the tender age of twelve, made her followers drop to their knees without hesitation, and her superiors fear for their very lives. I was, and will always be, her shadow; baring my canines, never humbled, still prideful. By submitting publicly to Integra often, and always with great sweeping gestures and a coy flirting to unsettle the room, the scent of their fear wafts for me, yes, but it is nothing more than a wisp in comparison to their fear for her.

I can't help but wonder what it is like to both be respected and feared, but never the twain shall meet.

My Master did not always dress so handsomely. There was a time when Integra stomped through the halls of our great home wearing all assortments of frocks and dresses, weaved skirts and bouncing blouses. The child's fashions in this age are so contemporary in comparison to what I knew. The deep swooping necklines, the sheen and translucent violet drapery, the embroidered dragons on the sleeves that trailed and pooled behind my little ones as they slowly slipped out of them, their large black eyes never leaving me. I gleaned the occasional glance of dark supple flesh around Integra's shoulders, back when she naively bared her treasured neck to any and all, and traced her rather sharp collarbone with my devilish eyes. I once stared at her boyishly knobby knees and downy blonde legs when she happened to wear some denim short-short's on a hot day. May all days be woefully, blisteringly hot, my Integra. Unfortunately she noticed this, I must have been staring for quite a time, and being hopelessly self-conscious she covered her legs up entirely from that point on. I watched in misery and glee whenever a stray ankle would slip out from beneath her long skirts when she crossed her legs and arms in contempt and frustration with me. Such a wonderfully cute and fearsome look to come from a child.

Innocently, and with the grace of a trumpeting, bumbling buffoon, I took many an opportunity to bestow upon my Master all manners of small embraces. What is a father who does not hug and coddle his daughter every now and then? I indulged in this principle often during the year or so after Integra had brought me back from the dead. Brushing her hair with my fingers and caressing her sharp chin when she deserved praise. Playfully nudging her and smiling with puppy-dog eyes after I've slaughtered our foes. Grasping the crest of her foot when she begrudgingly allowed me to tie her shoes. One glorious occasion, nervous Integra allowed me to bring her onto my lap after a nightmare. "Yes, I shall be the one to protect you from the evils of the world," I placated, placing my nose into her luxurious hair, rubbing her shaking palms with my gloved fingers. "I shall not lie to you, all the monsters and demons that you fear are real, and they want you dead every moment of your existence. I will be by your side always, until the end, and no harm shall ever come to you. You will never lift a finger, I will fight every battle and never a drop of your precious blood shall be spilled." At this, she snapped her head to the side and promptly smacked my cheek. "How dare you imply that I am dependent on you, monsters or not. Don't I have the most despicable monster of all at my beck and call? Every battle that I fight will be my own, you're just a pawn. Remember your place, servant."

So gracious was that compliment, how I sighed when she slid off my neglected lap and left me, her thin nightdress showing me the silhouetted forbidden fruits of her small frame. If I were to say such things now, I'd have a silver bullet through my brain. Such a kind little thing you were, Master.

And so it continued, me nuzzling Intergra's thin arm as I bowed to her, her look of triumph as I groveled at her feet. She knew nothing of my passions, and while I flirt and tease regularly now, at the time I was selfish and kept her away from even basic knowledge of sex and perversions. Let her remain pure forever, let her chastity be only mine to reap.

Imagine my surprise to see her pitter-patter into my cold chambers, two years after the flame in my heart and my loins began, and sensing a disquieting metamorphosis happening in her mind and body. She was wearing a trim button-down and loose slacks, her usual business attire. I remained silent and watchful as she gathered her bearings. She was nervous, and by extension I was thrilled.

"Alucard," she addressed, crossing her arms.

I waited patiently. Despite my experience, and my intimate knowledge of their undeveloped anatomy, I never learned much about children. I hardly believe I was ever a child myself. Walter told me that Integra was due to hit puberty any day now, and her mannerisms may change somewhat, and I anticipated the moment with detached interest. As I said, I never learned much on the subject.

"I've been curious about...Ah, Hell, don't make me say it."

"Take your time, I'm not going anywhere," I consoled, quite truthfully.

"I was studying with Jeannie (a little friend of hers, cute in a bright chipper way, giggled and blushed whenever she saw my dark masculinity from the corner of her eye. Asked once where my accent and my demeanor came from, told her I'm a vampire from Romania, more giggling and blushing. She was to be killed by a ghoul later that same year) and she... Well... She informed me of some... manners I had been unaware of..."

I feigned innocence, expression blank, lolling my head to the side. I flexed my fingers across the hand-rest of my chair. Had my cold master just had her first sighting into the adult world? A homosexual experience, even?

"Jeannie was being vague on some things but I think I have an idea... She said that...-" Muttering after this. I was already in a hazy cloud of lust and I had forgotten that I could easily hear her if I tried. This was just so hopelessly, tantalizingly adorable.

"Come again?" I choked out.

"Oh, honestly, you know exactly what I'm talking about don't you?"

Integra turned her flawless flustered face away from me, and with a tone of absolute disgust. "Alucard, I'd like you to kiss me."

I have no affiliation with anything that can be considered divine, I never kidded myself otherwise, but oh, my delectable young master, may I be in Heaven an hour before the Devil knows I'm dead. I fear I've sullied you more than any normal pedophilic rapist.

I asked her to, if she would please, come closer, in that case, all the while repeating her age and reminders that she is only a child and I am only her servant in my poor addled brain over and over again. All the powers of darkness and Hell are at my disposal, and I feared a child! Humans are such wonderful creatures. Integra made her way towards me, and I watched the slow progression, one slick shoe in front of the next, as if in a dream. She would never make it to me, I would wake up and this would be just another fever of mine.

Intergra sat on my left knee, hands fisted into the lap of her slacks and her legs tightly together, and I forgot how to breath – well, not that I needed to, in hindsight. I moved the large bulk of my torso -hat lopsided, glasses falling, angels crying, my demons writhing- towards her, but evidently I was moving much too slow.

She grabbed me by my vest and gnashed her haughty and impatient mouth against mine too harshly and my lips were cut on my own fangs, and I inwardly moaned and died. I almost said something very foul and sickening to her mind in my native language, but she pulled back quickly, frowning, not noticing my blood on her lips. "I don't get it."

Only a child, by the Gods, only a child...

This was all just a game on her part. I've let her harm me in any manner she wishes, with guns and knives and swords, just so she could see what happens, and this was no different. Children can be so fascinatingly, innocently, sadistically curious about violence long before love. Just another moment in her life to satisfy her own curiosity, but somehow I had tricked myself into believing that I could make her love me and ask for kisses far more often, and then more, if only I were to allow her to understand the wonders I could present to her. Intelligent as she is, she would piece together my plight immediately, and she'd happily allow me to take part of her sweetness whenever I chose, as well as for her own benefit. Let this accursed blood-sucker play amongst her hot and sticky body for all eternity. Never grow up, never die, never leave me.

Should Hell be so kind!

"You're not doing it right," I dead-panned, and she huffed. "You're not doing it right," I said, softer this time, and allowed myself to touch a finger to her arm, then her dimpled back. I looked into Integra's uninterested and impatient eyes with my own gloomy, half-lidded pair, glasses precariously balanced on the tip of my nose. I smirked a little, turned it into a caring look, the tiniest feeling of triumph over-taking me, my demons grinning wildly. Remembering my place and my task, I gently pulled her towards me, her bony back against my front, legs with her crossed ankles dangling over mine, her head tilting up, me waiting to ravish her mouth. Soft, wet, and small, I must remember small...

I was an absolute gentleman, as far as the whole thing goes. Panting, clawing my own eyes out in frustration, snarling and uncouth, but a gentleman all the same. I dared not move too suddenly, fearing she would pull back in disgust and horror and never come close again. I was very delicate, caressing her thin bottom lip with mine in the manner one might trace their finger over a petal. Integra closed her eyes as her vulgar little friend had no doubt taught her. I watched for any softening of the features, and finding none, adjusted her just slightly on my lap to push forward closer. Integra placed her closed fists against my chest, and a thought occurred to me through my intoxication: If my childish master was truly ignorant about how to go about matters of this sort, perhaps it would be alright to push just a little without repercussion. I moved the light fabric covering her waist up and down, and placed my other set of claws on her nape. I wanted so desperately to turn this tenderness into something passionate. All the while I pulled her still closer until her breastbone touched my ribs, and I grunted and sighed.

Integra shifted her sweet cavity and turned, and I peppered the corners of her mouth with little kisses, which she swatted away. "What a silly thing," my unfazed master stated. "Anyway, Jeannie told me the most ghastly things. Seemed shocked that I'd never known, actually, said she's had experience since she was twelve."

"Ann wuzzat, pray tell?" I murmured into her hair, my once silver-tongue useless and flapping.

Without warning, she gasped and launched herself into a standing position between my thighs. She shamelessly pointed to the bulge there. "I know what _that _is, you beast!"

I snickered nervously, perhaps with some repressed derision of her situation, and too late tried to look repentant. I'm not used to hiding my emotions, damn it!

I had been still leaning forward slightly, and I slammed myself backward unceremoniously, my hat flew to the side somewhere, glasses finally slipped off and clattered to the stone, when she none-to-tentatively reached out and placed her hand on my shame.

"What? No snide smile? No insulting comments?" she sneered.

"Master..." I begged quietly. I've angered her. Dear God, I've angered her. When was the last time I had felt trapped like this? What a wonderful, wonderful Master I have.

"How interesting, you really can turn any man into a sniveling coward just with a touch." Integra whispered. She pressed her paw down, and I whimpered on cue. What delightful evil geniuses my Master keeps as study-mates.

"Let's say, if I were to continue this, what would you have to say about that?"

"I would have no choice in the matter."

"Yes, but what would you _say?_"

"I might say to be more watchful of your innocence."

"I'm not having _sex _with you, idiot. I'm fourteen."

"I'm very aware of both, master."

Have I been lamenting two long years for nothing? Not that I mind, mind you. Integra had absently sat herself back down on one of my legs, kneading her fingers, and I couldn't think, not at all. The only phrase that ran through my mind was, 'what's a little foreplay?' I muttered it out loud, my facilities shutting down, to which Integra questioned. I slurred and begged her not to make me say it, and she said to say it anyway, to which I complied. To my relief, she laughed and shook her head. If she wasn't aware of her effect on me, she certainly was now. I was slowly succumbing to madness, and I threw my head back and groaned to let me touch her instead, I am but a servant to her whims, I am not worthy to have her caress me so. "You talk like a cheesy period novel sometimes, you know?" Integra smirked, ignoring my plight. I attempted a comeback, but she stilled her hand and went brusquely searching my clothing for a way to reveal me entirely, and I almost willed myself to melt through my chair so that I may run with my tail between my legs and hide away in my coffin. I truly wish I had done so. But no, I've wanted this for far too long, to escape now would be idiotic...

She grasped the freed source of my troubles, and I hissed and hid my face in my palm. Inexperienced as she was, she poked, prodded, and watched with sadistic glee as her small touches made me writhe and wilt in my chair, my throat making all manners of pathetic noises. I've never known anything to affect me so badly, never, and I regretfully admit that I savored every millisecond.

"Am I still doing it wrong?" Integra asked venomously, stroking me with her open palm now. I twitched in response and grunted, words now failing me entirely. I rested my head upon her shoulder and twitched my arms around her petite frame. She brushed my hair out of her face, but still allowed me this comfort. I stared at Intergra's sticky little neck and breathed harshly, feeling her strokes becoming more deliberate. I can not take this, once long ago, when she maintained an inkling of respect for me, she clung to me and wrapped her arms around my hips. I thought I might spasm merely from her childish embrace; you see, her face was plastered innocently against my groin. I can not take this now. A strangled moan escaped me, her attentions had gone to my head, and I felt a sickeningly sweet bubble spread throughout my form. I could no longer hold back my pants and cries, my 'ah's' and 'oh's,' which only made that beautiful hand of hers move vigorously. I kissed her neck, very lightly, wanting nothing more than to drain every drop of blood from her body, and I groaned deep within the chasm of my chest. Poor dear, she was trying so hard to be rough with me, but it was the greatest softness to my hardness.

Getting bored, I assume, my master leaned forward and brushed her flexible tongue along my length only once, and I gasped at the wet sensation with a surprised "ah!" and lurched forward, legs shaking, gripping at my treasured youth for all my life. I spent myself and she jerked her hand back quickly so she wouldn't dirty herself, the slick pet.

"I've defiled you, please, allow me to touch you," I moaned into her shoulder.

"And humiliate myself like you have? Hah." Intergra broke herself easily out of my grasp, and clacked her shoes on the floor. She then turned a dispassionate eye to me. "What a silly game this all is, I'll have no part in it anymore." She trotted off, golden mane swinging, and closed the door behind her, I was hardly aware of it.

I cleaned myself quietly. I was feeling sobered and silently tumultuous, so I lounged comfortably to my side and stared forlornly at the entrance to my room. Deciding that I was sickened by myself, I dissolved into the floor and through the rest of the manor, and took a walk. Murdering savage creatures of the dead, I find, makes for a good neutralizer. Anything in the name of my fair, cruel Master.

Although I had perhaps not scarred Integra for life, as I had initially feared, the psychological implications are still unsettling. Take for instance, the fact that my Master is needlessly a virgin to this day, well into her twenties. (Never reveal a proud woman's exact age.) For a long while I was disgusted with myself, thinking perhaps she had shunned the matter entirely because of my wretchedness, it was stupid of me not to try and talk her out of it. I play scenarios in my head often: "You are far too young to even _think _about shit like that! Out! And _that _is an order!" No doubt she'd have me crucified on the spot, but what is it to dwell on the past, – hah! - in any case? I float through the years, a Nazi regime is raising swiftly. How cliché. Won't my Master free me from my boredom? Immortality has an interesting effect, once you pass a certain number of centuries, everyone else becomes ageless in comparison. I will wait for you for all of eternity. Regardless, I've ignored my own suggestions. I think that is enough. The young Master is calling, how lovely, killing the damned in the manner of the damned sounds nice right now.

.

* * *

A/N

Oh Ayeee-I-I love little gurls they make me feel so good!~

Eh-hem, innyhoo, this, my first Hellsing related anything, was written on the fly for the fuck of it all in one sitting. I was writing really fast, I was just going to try and remain tasteful and artful and just have them kiss a little and Integra spins and away and Alucard goes, "Rawr! I are sad vampire!" some more, but, eh, this is going on FF, who cares! Hehe, and I just wrote the summary like a bad porn plot. So amusing, no one is going to enjoy this story~

I have a snippet. So I was dreaming about a month ago, and Alucard and I took a knitting class together. Then we went fishing. He was pissed off the entire time, and kept threatening to kill everyone. It was ridiculously vivid, and it lasted _hours._ I hate both of those activities, by the way, but I was pretty happy about the whole situation. Maybe I should write about _that_ kind of stuff instead.


End file.
